A city guy, who moved to the country, and now back to the city, and his musings on life, love, career, politics, jiu jitsu, and just about anything I can muster. It's gonna be Legen…wait for it…

The Death of the Nice Guy

Courtesy of Epic Videos

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the above video on Youtube, so I included a link to the video on Facebook, which you all may or may not be able to view. So, allow me to offer you a brief synopsis:

A female Applebee’s employee with an attractive physical form (her face is blocked by a black bar) is outside her place of employment handing out coupons for a drink special they are having. A guy, modestly dressed, definitely a bit geeky, approaches her. He appears to be nice, intelligent (mentions a fact about the heat that he read in the days paper), and respectful. He compliments her and asks her if he can have her phone number. The next thing you hear is the resounding thud as he is shot out of the sky after several attempts, even offering just to take her out as friends.

So, up comes another guy, nowhere near as smartly dressed, and starts off the conversation with

“Yo, what’s good ma?”

From there he’s skinning and grinning, complimenting her “Does the free drink come with you? You teasing me ma! You look good. You look as good as a drumstick.”

So, he proceeds to entice her up the street to a secluded spot, where they exchange a few kisses, and finally end with a handjob, where he nearly entices her to lick the tip.

A HANDJOB?!?!?!?!

LICK THE TIP?!?!?!?!?

So, after busting in her hand, the guy takes off his sunglasses and do rag, revealing he’s the geeky guy from earlier. He then tells her she’s been exposed as a shallow, crazy chick who wouldn’t give her number to a nice guy, but will beat off a thug.

Now, I have no idea if the video is authentic or staged.  Nor do I know it’s origin, but I do know it’s real, because I’ve fucking lived it.

I like to think of myself s a pretty nice guy. I have my faults, dear lord do I have faults. But I always try my best to treat those around me with respect, especially women. And no, I’m not always successful, but it’s something I strive for.

And in the past, I have been accused by women I was getting acquainted with that I was “too nice.”

Well excuse me for not asking you to beat me off between the salad and the main course.

I’ve also seen guys, some of them uncouth, some of them downright dirtbags  approach the exact same women, with astounding success.

I’ve even done. I’ve put a couple of drinks in, and set out to just be that dude that I pretty much hate, and before you know it, the women are begging to go home with you.


Hmm… after a while, you have to start to believe the trend, and perhaps offer a moment of silence to the nice guy.

Courtesy of: bottledupthoughtsandfeelings.blogspot.com

Courtesy of: bottledupthoughtsandfeelings.blogspot.com

Courtesy of: smartshoes.blogspot.com

Courtesy of: smartshoes.blogspot.com

We may not be the most fashion forward individuals. We may not even be dripping with sex appeal and machismo… but hot damn it, we’ve got charisma, and we’re nice… and nice ain’t half bad.

  • We won’t cheat on you.
  • We won’t hit on your friends behind your back.
  • We will treat you with dignity, honor, and respect, and as an equal, and not a possession or commodity.

I simply think about the women I KNOW and the tales of douchebaggery I’VE HEARD, and it boggles my mind.

And I’m the single one.

Well, that is probably for the best, because tomfoolery and I shall not be bedmates…


So guys, have you noticed this trend as well?

Ladies, have you found yourself passing up on “nice guys” to date a “bad boy”, or a nice “fixer-upper” of a guy?



So, I recently enrolled in an online course on blogging, aptly titled Blogging101. I enrolled in the course so I could get more accustomed to writing more, publishing more of what I write, and expanding on my writing abilities, and hopefully my readership of this blog. I’m trying to up the ante and the quality. People often tell me I’m a good writer; that I should write a book. and I suppose I’m trying to nurture and grow that skill… see what happens.

So, assignment one is to introduce myself, and tell you fine people why I’m here.

Well, my name is D. I’m a 30-something teacher. Well, I was a teacher. I’m, as they say, going through a transitional phase, and am currently unemployed and job hunting. It’s an uncomfortable position to be in, but I can honestly say it’s not nearly as soul destroying as my last year teaching felt. I love teaching, and hope to do it again, but I was at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and was left feeling depleted. So here I am.

I live in Chicago, one of the most beautiful cities you’ll ever find… physically, culturally… it is amazing in all its facets.

So, why do I blog rather than keep a journal? That’s a really good question. Honestly, I am a bit of a social butterfly. And I, in some ways have a unique perspective on life. I’m a hodge-podge of thoughts and feelings, and I’ve found blogging a perfect way to let all of that out . I initially started blogging due to distance. I’ve lived in both Germany and Afghanistan for extended periods of time, and blogging was a great way to connect with family and friends.  Now, it’s a great way to release, and reflect… and sometimes say those things which we may not feel comfortable saying to others directly.

As for what I blog about?


This blog is more about my perspectives on life and my experiences, rather than ay single topic. Education, politics, sex, entertainment, sports…it’s all fair game.  I’m eclectic… varied and eclectic.  As for whom, I hope to attract or connect with through my blog. Well, that answer is any and everyone.  I just love connecting with people, and I enjoy how blogs often give peeks into our more intimate selves.

So, this is me.  This is my spot. I encourage you to check out my older posts as well.  We’ll talk again soon.


Lust and Resentment

I love those moments when someone says the things you are thinking I your head perfectly… or provides you with a perspective that truly clarifies an outlook for you.

dansavage_121212Dan Savage often does that for me.

Let me start by saying that if you don’t listen to The Savage Lovecast, you should. It’s a  podcast version of Dan’s advice column, Savage Love.  There are 2 versions of it, the micro (free, 49 minutes with ads) and the magnum (paid, 82 minutes without ads). I will one Da subscribe, but for now I’m stuck with the micro version.  However, it’s a great, insightful show.

Anyway, recently Dan commented on the whole nude photo scandal including Jennifer Lawrence and a slew of other celebrities. I wholeheartedly agree with his opinion, and think he made some fabulous points.

  1. It’s horrible that they’re privacy was invaded.
  2. Fuck those people who say you shouldn’t take naked pictures of yourself if you don’t want them spread around. It’s not like they were sharing them, their phones and such were hacked and their privacy invaded.
  3. We have a  sick relationship with celebrities, it’s a combo platter of lust and resentment, which is one of the reasons we punish pornstars (while the porn industry is one of the single biggest money-making industries in the United States might I remind you) and we sometimes delight in seeing celebrities fall and fail.Dan explores this point further and I advise you check it out.
  4. Furthermore, it will be a great day when we all have “dirty” pictures online. The human body is beautiful; the naked form is beautiful and should be celebrated. It’s not something that should be hidden, and shamed. It will be a great time when someone can play “gotcha” with this kind of shit.

Oh, I have a dick? And you saw it?

I sext, and you found out?

Why yes, I have recorded sexual encounters, and no it’s not a big deal.

It’s a pretty ridiculous, and a huge fuck you to those who shamed the victims of this incident rather than the hackers. I’m also sharing a video that a friend sent me. I thin it relates well to this topic of unhealthy sexual outlook that we harbor in our society.

Grow the fuck up…

…and puritans eat my snatch.

Greetings, Stranger


This writing prompt comes courtesy of The Daily Post

You’re sitting at a café when a stranger approaches you. This person asks what your name is, and, for some reason, you reply. The stranger nods, “I’ve been looking for you.” What happens next?

The stranger sits down. He stared at me very pensively. He was pale, gaunt.  His clothing screamed of someone who wanted to blend in; blacks and browns. He wore penny loafers. I didn’t even know they still made penny lovers, or even more tragically that people still bought them. As I looked at the stranger, I could feel him searching my face.  His gaze was unsettling, and left me watching the condensation slide down my water glass in jagged little streaks.

“So… do we know each other?” I inquired in the most polite voice I could muster under the strange circumstances.


“Hmm… well would you like to tell me your name?”


The silence between us was now unbearable. For perhaps the first time, I truly met his gaze.

“Would you please take a walk  with me?”

“I don’t know you, you won’t tell me your name, and you want me to take a walk with you? Why should I?”

“It’s important. It’s desperately important.”

The earnestness of his words nearly ripped me from my chair. Every syllable dripped of desperation. He seemed harmless enough. I took a final drink of my water, and placed my money on the table. I followed behind the stranger as he ambled lazily towards the door.

As we moved into the twilight of the streets I took another look at the stranger. He didn’t quite look sickly. He looked like someone who had a massive weight  on their shoulders.

“So what is this all about?” My patience was waning.

“I’ll tell you as soon as we get to the park.”

I was very familiar with the nearby park. Only a block or so away. It’s the kind of park built on the edge of a forest preserve. Little play gym for the kids. Great place to walk a dog, read a book, or scope out the local divorcees on a Saturday afternoon.

I suppose I was so lost in thought, we covered the distance in what seemed an instant.

We sat at the far end of the park, near the corner.

I was full of anticipation as we sat down.

“So what is the big secret? I can’t wait to hear.”

“You probably could. I’m gonna need you to remain calm.”

As he said that, I hadn’t noticed the gun that he’d slid out of his pocket, and held lazily in his hand, lying limply on his thigh, dangling from the edge of his index finger. As my gaze dropped down, it took a few seconds to register. I finally looked up into his face.

“I have been hired to kill you.”

The words struck me like a slap in the face. It was hard to find my voice, and I immediately jumped to my feet.

“Sit down! Do not make this any harder than it needs to be.”

“Is this some kind of sick joke?

‘Sit down!”

“Or what? You’ll shoot me in front of all these people?”

“What people?”

And that was when the horrible reality of the situation stepped in, as I looked around…we were alone. This park, which during the afternoon was teeming with nannies, and overprivileged children in overpriced strollers…was empty.

It was at this moment my body deflated. An acrid taste entered my mouth, and my knees became rubbery. I had no choice but to sit down. My body was leaving me with no other option.

“Who would hire you to do such a thing?”

“I can’t tell you…nor does it matter.”


“Who doesn’t matter. As to why they want you dead. That information is truly not of my concern. You must have done something horrible.”

“How much? How much is my life worth?”

“$25,000 for you dead. $40,000 if I make you suffer,”

“You can’t do this” I pleaded, tears welling in my eyes.

“I’m sorry. But I need the money. I can’t imagine how you must feel.”

“You can’t do this. I’m a good person. I have a family. I’m a good person.”

“I hope that isn’t true. My conscience will have enough to bear as it is. I want to believe that you are a low person, deserving of the fate that is coming to you. Let us leave it at that.”


“We’re going to walk into the tree line. It will be quick.”

And with that, the person grabbed me by the arm and stuck the gun into my side. He led me into the tree line. It seemed in a flash we were surrounded by shadows, as the sunlight danced it’s last few rays across the tree tops. My mind was in a race. There had to be something I could do to stall, to buy time.

“How can money make you kill another person.”

“Because like you I have a family. They are in need. All this world truly cares about is money. I must provide for my family.”

After a few moments, we stopped.

“Kneel down please.”

My legs simply gave out under me, and I slumped to the ground.

“You’ll get caught. You can’t just kill someone and get away with it.”

The stranger walked around me slowly.

“Someone is going to hear the gunshot.”

“Unfortunately sir, I won’t be using the gun. My family has quite a bit of debt, and I am going to be needing the full $40,000.”


The End

I craved you!

NO I.D.:

Came across this, this morning. Encapsulates many of the thoughts I had while writing “Flower of Beauty”. Get out my head man.

Originally posted on medicinetokillsoul:

I dreamt of a smile,
A lingering laughter in those lips,
An edge with wetness in your teeth,
A joy infectiously calm in your heart,
I dreamt of your smile.
I dreamt of the quietude,
The ease of each breath in my lungs,
The giant steps my heart leaped into,
The memory of your sweat in my pores,
The certainty in the strides of your thighs.
I dreamt a place so new yet familiar,
Of fleshes, emotions and ecstasy being one,
I dreamt of you.

View original

Flower of Beauty

I remember singing this song my senior year of high school, which was my only year in choir. It was my fave, partly because of the subtlety and delicate beauty of the piece, and partly because it’s a challenging piece to make sound good..and mostly because of the message of the piece.

I suppose all my life I’ve been something of a romantic. While listening to this song today, I thought back to the time. I was probably 6 or 7, maybe even younger. My dad was asleep In a chair I’m pretty sure. It was late at night, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind was in a whirl, which has come to be a hallmark of my existence. But I woke him up, and I said “Dad, I can’t sleep.” He asked me if I was ok. I said “Dad, I’m in love .”

I was in love with my teacher. Ha! Even in my earliest years I was attracted to older women. I think my dad could see the honesty that rested in my face. He said “yeah? Well, it’s gonna be ok.”

Love…romance..desire, such strange and beautiful yet sometimes horrific concepts.

This song also makes me think of a woman that I know now. I find her fascinating in all the most amazing ways. Actually, since we first met this song has made me think of her. She’s been on my mind a lot as of late.

It often fascinates me what makes one person special to another. It’s quite intriguing when you give it some real thought.

I don’t believe that in life we all have “one true love”. That has always sounded silly to me. I rather think we have multiple. Some big, some small… of course some more significant than others, but I think each can help us learn something about ourselves.

But this particular young lady. Hmm… so intriguing.  It’s not often that someone else makes me feel inferior. She does it easily. So intelligent and talented. I still remember when we met. Prior to the meeting I saw a few pictures of her, and thought “Aww… she’s pretty.” But, when I actually saw her.  Yeah, I had no idea.

The eyes, the smile… the charm… and those lips! Hot damn!!!

So of course, the first thought must be “Well, if you feel so strongly about her, why not tell her.” Well, she has a significant other. Which makes me feel foolish for even harboring such emotions.

But, how do you change what the heart feels?

How do you turn your eye from y0ur flower of beauty?


North Coast Music Festival

So many of you will know that I have generally turned my nose up at EDM in the past. Well I had an amazing time at North Coast Music Festival this weekend serving beer. While I saw a few crap bands, I saw some amazing ones too, and DJ’s. A few thoughts on live performances:

1) If everyone on the stage isn’t having more fun and sweating more than I am, I can’t fux wit you.
2) a band of questionable talent can sell it with a high energy show. Go figure!
3) I saw some DJ’s who performed better than some rock bands I’ve seen.

My mind was blown, and I’ll definitely be checking out this festival again in the future.

So here is a few of the sights and sounds from the festival.  I also wish that the sound actually did the performers justice.  Let me assure you the bass was amazing!!!







































  1. the state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations.
    “his brother’s priestly vow of celibacy”
    I’ve decided to be celibate.  Well, more accurately, I am abstaining from sex…and sexual activity…that includes masturbation.  :-/  
    Often, when people decide to become celibate, people either assume it’s either for religious regions, or the person is an addict.  Neither reason applies to me. 
    I do love sex though…a lot.  I suppose this will be my own personal Lent.  Sometimes I think you have to give up something to find clarity.  As I’ve dived back into the dating pool, I feel like sex can muddle things.  I definitely still feel that sex is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, but while I’m single, I think I want to take some time to be sex free.  
    The last time I abstained from sex, I went 15 months.  In the meantime, the person I was dating dumped me, but I felt like it was a good turn for me.  I remember one night sitting with some friends, and a young lady placing her hand on my leg…the electricity that shot across my skin, the way I could so clearly smell her perfume, and notice the subtleties of her beauty, and her form…and oddly enough, my mind was more stuck on these things, and not just “sex” in the normal sense of the term.  
    I think about all the energy I spend thinking about sex, or engaging in sex (not nearly as much as you may think, I mean, I am sexy as hell and all…LOL), and now perhaps I’ll be able to spend that energy in other ways, while rediscovering deeper connections with the women I meet.  I know the first month is going to be hellacious, but after that, it’ll be fine…right?
    Can grown men still have nocturnal emissions?  

I intended to post this some time ago…and just never got around to it.  I feel myself saying that a lot nowadays.  There’s probably not anything I could tell you about ALS, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, aka Lou Gehrigs’s Disease that you haven’t already heard over the past few weeks.  If you’re a social media and Youtube savvy person, you’ve probably also seen tons of “Ice Bucket Challenge” videos.  However, here’s mine.  There’s probably nothing too special about it, other than I did it with people special to me in mind.  Enjoy!

Jackie Robinson West

I’m composing this as I stand in the blazing Chicago summer (finally) sun. I’m standing in the grass of Jay Pritzker Pavilion, the centerpiece of Chicago’s famed Millennium Park. I’ve come here this morning to enjoy in the parade and second rally of the day of the Jackie Robinson West Little League team.

Don’t know about JRW? Go pick up today’s copy of the Chicago Sun Times…they are promintly featured. They are the Little League United States Champions, losing in a good game to the Korean team. I watched about 20 mins. of it.

Now everyone wants to say they knew the champ when he was nothing, that they saw the streaks of greatness even before the season started. Well, I’m not one of those guys. I don’t follow Major League Baseball, let alone little league. I don’t even think I noticed their story until 1 or 2 games prior to their championship game.

So why am I here?

Because this is history in the making. If my understandings are correct, JRW is only the 3rd Chicago team ever to win the Little League U.S. Championship, and the first all African American team to do so.

More importantly, they are a success story for Chicago. In a day and age when Chicago gets more bad press than Charles Manson, this is a chance for Chicago to be spoken about in a pleasant light. And frankly, they are doing way better than most of the Chicago sports teams.

…and everyone is here. Black, White, Northside, Southside…it’s amazing seeing Chicago come together…and these kids have to be buggin’ out!












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