So here’s the thing about internet dating…

…it’s just weird…and for a couple of reasons.  Now, I’m generally pretty good at reading people.  I can see a dirtbag at a 100 yards, and generally, I can usually get a good read on if I can trust someone.  It’s just something I’ve been able to do with fairly good success.  I’m no psychic, I just have a pretty good nose that picks up that whiff of bulls**t on the wind…

Unfortunately, that ability goes out of the window when I seem to go on dates.  I’m sure it’s just nerves.  I’ll admit, I get nervous around pretty women.  Not like dribbling all over myself and stuttering……

….ok fine, you got me; When I met Jada Pinkett Smith, I stuttered…but that’s to be expected.  She had this awesome afro-ish thing going on, and had just spent the hour singing metal.



But I’ve been fortunate to go out with some very pretty, interesting, intelligent, charming young ladies.  A few of them were surely not looking for a guy with my unique sensibility and qualities:

  • Funny
  • Awesome
  • Fun-loving
  • Awesome
  • Intelligent
  • Awesome
  • Smiles a lot
  • Awesome
  • Hates ties
  • Awesome
  • Very grounded and laid back without a hint of pretention
  • Dashingly Sexy
  • and Awesome!

and the others…well, I’m not quite sure what they were looking for. First dates always feel like interviews to me.  And I never really feel like I can decipher exactly what is going on in the other persons mind.  It always feels like a badly choreographed boxing match.  However, I suppose that’s an issue that exists even if it’s someone that you meet generally on the street corner, or on a blind date through mutual friends.  However, a problem that I really never seemed to have until I embarked on the adventure that is internet dating is when…

The Person Seems To Fall Off the Edge of the Earth!!!

I spoke about this with my roommate the other day, and she said that this was something she had experienced in her online dating experiences, and also why she’d developed the “date day name identification” system.  It’s like, you’re texting, or talking on the phone, and then…..nothing.  Case in point, I was supposed to get together with a young lady for tea this weekend.  “I’ll text you either Friday or Saturday and we can figure out a time that works”, which sounded good.  And then…..nothing.  It’s just odd.  So, later in the day I sent a very non-committal “How is your day going?” text, which has yet to be replied to.  Hmm….

Also, something that just blows my mind about women in general…why do women show interest towards someone that has qualities about them that they simply do not like?  For example, when I’m checking out someone, both online and off, and they should say something like

My faith is very important to me.  I’m a very devout Christian, and you should be the same.

the thought of a romantic relationship just disappears.  I pretty much take that statement as being a non-negotiable, and I do not fit the mold. However, when a woman reads:

I love bicycling.  I did the Naked Bike Ride this year, and plan on doing it again next year

why do women think “Well surely we can change that!”

No…you can’t!  I do understand that relationships are based upon compromise, and a constant ebb and flow between two parties…but we’re not starting anything off with a big ole take.  Do some women really enjoy trying to change men?  I’ve read articles and such that talked about how women feel they can “change” a guy to make him ideal, etc, etc, etc….is that real?  Because I really had this conversation:

If you were in a relationship would you still do the naked bike ride if your gf asked you not to? Or would she even need to do that?

to which I replied

I would definitely be willing to discuss it with her. I would probably try to get her to do it with me, even if she was fully clothed. I love events like that…large groups coming together to simply enjoy life, sometimes in strange circumstances. I’m a big Critical Mass supporter, and I’ve rode in several of those, including their underwear ride. I’m a very reasonable person, and I understand in a relationship there has to be compromise, but that compromise has to come from both ends of the equation. I’m assuming that if you were involved with a guy, you would not want him to do the naked ride?

to which she replied

I would not want him to do the naked ride and I wouldn’t even think out of respect that he’d ask. Sounds like we’d be a bad match.

and the conversation concluded with

I would have to agree. I wish you luck in your search madam. Be well.

Did we really have to have that conversation for you to come to the realization that we would be a bad match?  Really??? I knew we were a bad match when you asked the original question.

Hmm…and so it goes.  In other news, I had a tea date yesterday.  It was very impromptu.  Got a text, “Are you available to meet up?”, etc, etc, etc.  We decided to meet downtown since she had an appointment later that evening in the area.  One of us was late…and that person was not me!  LOL.  That kind of thing doesn’t bother me though.  So we met up for Argo Tea, since there happened to be one right where we agreed to meet.

She shall be known as Friday Girl. African American, very interesting young lady with a distinct interest in social justice and community organizing.  She picked my favorite drink (Green Tea Ginger Twist), so at least we had that similarity going in.

We had really good conversation…but it all felt really business like.  Sure, it’s been a few years since I was “on the prowl” and out in the dating arena…I just don’t ever remember it all feeling so formal and business-like. We did laugh a lot, and there wasn’t any awkward silences or anything of that matter.  We talked for a little over an hour, and she actually stayed longer than I had originally anticipated.  I walked her to the train station, and we parted with a hug and pleasantries.  I did not text her today, but I plan to do so tomorrow. I’m not a fan of the 3 day rule, or the 2 day rule, or any other rules governing dating etiquette.  I just try not to come off like a creeperton…and let’s admit it, I’m a total creeperton…and just go with what feels right.

So yeah, internet dating in general just strikes me as odd.  I’m not sure if it always did, but it does now.  We’ll see if there is a date #2.

And finally, as for Sunday Girl #3….she’s fallen off of the edge of the Earth.  Go figure!


2 thoughts on “So here’s the thing about internet dating…

  1. People are very noncommittal online. I think it is because until you meet the other person IRL they just arent real to you yet (we could get into a prochoice/prolife debate there). So its not a big deal if you talk every day for a month and then just stop talking. And the person is a Dbag. lol I’ve ran into this quiet a few times. Actually I’ve done it myself. Sometimes the conversation just drops off and instead of saying I’m not interested you just stop replying to messages. Granted the person I did this two had two word conversations and I found it was not worth draining my precious iPhone battery any longer for him..


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