So, when you’re dating, the inevitable eventually comes up:
Now, this is probably that time in which I should say that I believe in waiting until marriage, so that you can be sure that you’re only being physically intimate with that special person that you plan on spending the rest of your life with.
I would also be lying. Badly. To you and myself, and I’m not going to lie to either. Well, I’m very fortunate to have reached that point in my personal development in which I do realize that sex is not the end all, be all of a relationship. However, I do think it’s pretty important.
And I like it.
Probably a little more than the average guy. Ok…umm…maybe….not…umm…yeah, I do!
And in the game of dating with all it’s rules, mores, customs and caveats as to what is right/wrong and acceptable…
…the question must eventually come up about when is it too early to jump in the sack?
Now, let’s just go ahead and eliminate the “wait until marriage” argument now.
Not gonna happen.
Would you buy a car sight unseen? How about without even having heard it started up? How about without having sat in the drivers seat, and put your foot on the pedal, giving it a little gas to see how that baby purrs?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are either a fool, or you’re buying a Lamborghini Diablo.
Now yes, I would buy that car without any of the above. It’s reputation precedes it. In all other cases, I need to see what I’m working with. If we were putting that in human terms, that would be like Elisha Cuthbert walking into my classroom tomorrow and saying
“Hey! Let’s go get married right now!”
Anywho, this topic came to mind because of a blog I read recently, it was posted by one of my regular reads currylove, the author of which is a 30-something single, Indian, female. She’s very charming, and I truly enjoy reading her dating stories. By starting this blog, I’ve come to find that I’m certainly not alone in my desires….or worries…or gripes, complaints, seeming successes that turn into dismal failures.
Isn’t love grand?
But recently, currylove was telling about a young man she’d met and gone out with. I’m going to assume that since her blog is public, I’m not putting her business out in the street, but to make a long story short, she slept with him on the second date.
My reactions were actually mixed. My first thought was
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW……YOU GO GIRL!”
and then my second thought was
“hmm….I wonder if that’s a bit quick?”
Now, I’m no puritan. But I do often think that sex can complicate a dating situation. For me, if I have sex with someone early on while dating, I then feel like if something goes wrong, and we stop dating, I kind of took advantage, even thought the decision was mutual. Just feel like a snake oil salesman.
I assume the feeling is different for women. You can use a man up and down till the cows come home, and 8 times out of 10 he’ll still be sitting there with a stupid grin on his face, excited to tell his boys of his adventures and exploits. Not too long ago, shortly before starting this blog, I was in a situation in which a second date (technically a second date, since the first one was pretty horrible and we’d agreed to the dreaded “friend zone”) ended in sex. After outing #3, and not hearing from her again, I was resigned to the fact
“I got used for sex.” ( in a depressed voice)
which after about an hour became
“I got used for sex!” (in a rather jubilant voice).
So, is there a set time you should wait, or should you just go with the flow of things?
What do you all think?