The Really Long Date

So, this past weekend I got together with “The Girl with the cute shoes.”  We met from Plenty of Fish and have chatted for a while.  The date was extremely impromptu.  I was heading to class for Jiu Jitsu, and simply asked while texting if she’d be interested in getting lunch.  She replied in the affirmative.

I’m one of those people that likes to get together rather than spend weeks texting and such.  I think I can get more from 10 minutes in person than what I’ll get from a month of texting.  I mean of course you can learn information about a persons past, their day, their experiences, but you can’t get those extremely important factors of attraction and chemistry.

So, we decided to meet up for lunch, at Epic Burger.  She mentioned that she was feeling a little under the weather, and probably wouldn’t be eating, but perhaps we could meet, and stop at Starbucks after.  Sounded like a good idea to me, and after training, I feel like eating the world, so I was definitely looking forward to a double Epic Burger with a peanut butter smoothie.  Yum!!!

So, her pseudonym comes from the fact that she was wearing the cutest shoes.  They were yellow, with white and polka dots, kind of like a leopard print, which matched perfectly with her leopard print scarf. Yes, I have a good eye…don’t hate.  She’s 27, and also a teacher…special ed, elementary and middle school age.  She’s from Chicago, spent a few years on the east coast, and is now back in the best city in the world.

So, I have to say that I did not feel any initial attraction.  She actually reminded me a lot of a woman I dated a few years ago, Abby.  they have a very similar physical appearance.  I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not.  As we sat and talked, conversation started off a little rough I thought.  But as time went, conversation started coming easier, and we were laughing, and talking, and joking before too long.

After I finished lunch, we actually decided to get drinks at Peets Coffee  & Tea.  I’d never been there before, so I thought it would be cool to check out.  So we sat in Peets for a few hours, talking over a myriad of topics. I’ll have to say that I must’ve gotten really comfortable, because before I knew it, the filter fell off my face and I found myself at the intersection of Overshare & TMI Avenue.  To her credit, she took it all in perfect stride, and actually coerced me into deleting the number of a former date from my initial match.com adventures whom I described as “kind of shady as s**t”.

“You need to delete her number, and release those ties to the past, so that you can be open to better experiences.”

I knew she was absolutely right, and perhaps I just needed the external motivation.

Anywho, I did find that as we talked more, I felt myself feeling more attracted to her.

So, after Peets, we decided to not call it quits quite yet, and we headed to one of my favorite establishments, The Pick Me Up Cafe!   We continued chatting and laughing.  Quite late actually.  I got home around 1:30am.

So, all in all, it was a very successful date.  I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about the young lady at that juncture however.  So, after some chat, we decided to get together for dinner the following night.  We ended up deciding on picking up a pizza and hanging out at my place.  The initial intent was to watch a movie, chat etc.  Well, we did talk lots, and actually she ended up helping me with some work related stuff, which I thought was very sweet.

So, on the flip side, I suppose you have to discuss the negatives.  Well, she hated a lot of  my music.  I’m a metal head, with flashes of jazz, hip hop, R&B classical.  But in my day to day life, I listen to a lot of metal.  She is not into “that angry music” at all.  That kind of bummed me out a bit actually.

She also struck me as being a bit…hmm…delicate, in her sensibilities.  Kind of like the ugliness of the world would put her to tears in a given moment.  It’s kind of hard to explain, but I think compared to many of my friends and people I spend my time with, she just seemed really sensitive in a way.

I spent a good portion of the day today while doing work thinking about the 2 dates and such…and I think ultimately…I just don’t feel a spark, which puts me in a kind of dilemma.  She has expressed interest in spending more time together.  So, do I spend time with her, in hopes that a spark will come, and if I do that, am I simply wasting her time?

My brain tells me I should tell her that I’m not feeling that spark that I’d like to have with someone I’m dating, and that I don’t want to waste her time.  Is that the right thing to do?

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