Mixtape Love

So, how many of you at some point in your love life made a mixtape for a significant other?

Remember those days? That was awesome.  For those of you with bad memories, or who lived much of your life living under a rock, or you still smell of Similac, here is the offiicial definition of a mixtape that we will use to move forward in this discussion:

mixtape or mixed-tape is the generic name given to any compliation of songs recorded onto any audio format.

A mixtape, which usually reflects the musical tastes of its compiler, can range from a casually selected list of favorite songs, to a conceptual mix of songs linked by a theme or mood, to a highly personal statement tailored to the tape’s intended recipient. Essayist Geoffrey O’Brien has called the personal mix tape “the most widely practiced American art form”, and many mix tape enthusiasts believe that by carefully selecting and ordering the tracks in a mix, an artistic statement can be created that is greater than the sum of its individual songs.
Source: Wikipedia: Mix Tape

Once upon a time, if you really liked a girl (I’m going to assume that women also dived into the mixtape medium), you would make her a mixtape.  Basically, it could be a mix of songs that made you think of her, or perhaps songs that you hoped made her think of you (insert Ludacris’ “Sex Room” here please).  In any case, as explained above, the mixtape was more than just a gathering of songs, it was a romantic statement (not always romantic, but it sure was a great addition to flowers and/or candy on Valentine’s Day…and don’t even get me started on the advent of Garageband and similar music recording software where you could use the software to put your own commentary or voice on the mixtape as well), that transcended the simple individual songs, and that could serve as a wonderful memory.

So, why am I talking about mixtapes?  Good question.  Well, about 2 weeks ago, an old friend of mine, an ex-girlfriend, shot me the following message:

“I am using Spotify now.  WHERE’S MY MIXTAPE?????”

to which I replied,

“Want me to make you a mixtape?  What’s the theme?

“You missing me.”

I thought it was a cute theme.  Now this young lady in question, we’ve remained in decent contact over the years.  I haven’t seen her in the closer part of a decade, but we will talk periodically, and bring each other up to speed on the ins and outs of life.  So, that was a pretty easy theme to follow, because she is definitely quite the memorable young lady.

While rather rare for most of my friends (I attribute this to weed smoking in my college days), I can still remember exactly where and how I met this y0ung lady.

Now, you have to picture this young lady in your mind. Very athletic build.  Long blond hair.  Deep blue eyes.  Very beautiful face, and an amazing figure.  I remember she was wearing all black.  I noticed her as she was lightly rebuffing this guy in a club, or that’s at least how it appeared.  I don’t quite recall if I had wandered to where she was, or if she’d wandered to where I was, but I just realized I was standing about 5 feet away from a very beautiful woman.

I also distinctly remember that she didn’t smile….at all…for no reason.  When I asked her to dance, she simply nodded, and she looked extremely uninterested in just about anything around her.  After dancing (and I’m not much of a dancer, so the uninterested look on her face made it even more painful), I asked her to have a drink with me.

I recall her being rather silent, and giving very sparse answers to just about every bit of idle conversational banter I had to offer…and then I asked her to dinner.  As I recall, this was the first significant reaction I got from her. She looked a little confused, and asked me what I’d said.  I said something along the lines of “Me, you, dinner, maybe candles, maybe a walk after, maybe even ending with a goodnight kiss.”

I remember her saying something along the lines of “You’re the first guy I met in a club to ask me out to dinner.”

Well yeah, I’m weird, this in today’s world is common knowledge.

From there, I’m not sure how a relationship ensued, but it did.

The young lady was amazing.  A perfect combo of intelligent, cute, funny, sexy, aloof, involved, and detached.  I remember once I was doing some work on my computer, and she said “come cuddle with me”, to which I said “Give me a few more minutes.”

Next thing I knew, she called me, and I spun around, to see her in a see through tank top, with her jeans pushed down low to show her matching see through thong, in a very sexy position looking at a picture on my wall.  Needless to say she got my immediate attention.

However, beyond all of that, I really liked her.  I liked the way I felt with her. That’s what relationships and love are all about isn’t it?  How that other person makes you feel, and the desire to reciprocate that sentiment, or feeling, or emotion?

Eventually, the relationship reached it’s end.  I don’t exactly know why, but I can firmly say that I was dumped.  C’est la vie.

But as we discussed this mixtape, we began discussing the past, and I mentioned how she crossed my mind often at times, and how I considered her very important in my evolution.

How?  Well, in all honesty, I was completely enamored of this young lady.  but, I wasn’t ready for the type of commitment I wanted with her.  That’s probably as strange a comment to read as it is to write, but it’s the most honest way I can think to put it.

But isn’t that how life is?  You meet that perfect person…but it isn’t the right time?  Not the right place?  You’re not the right color?  Not the right religion?  Don’t have the right background?

I continued to tell her how that knowledge was a starting off point for me though, for me to become who I wanted to be.

We began to talk a bit about how we’ve both changed, and how we both find ourselves at points that we probably never would have guessed or imagine.

And so, the next day, I set forth to making a mixtape.  A mixtape that could sum up many of the thoughts that went through my head when I thought of this young lady.

  1. You And Me – Lifehouse
  2. Weekend Love – Dwele
  3. Say Yes – Floetry
  4. One Week – Barenaked Ladies
  5. Butterflies – Floetry
  6. Now You’re Gone (More Than I Can Feel) – Floetry
  7. Symphonie – Silbermond
  8. Jigga,  Jigga!  – Scooter
  9. Brennende Liebe Feat. L’ame Immortelle – Oomph
  10. If I was a bird – Floetry
  11. My hands are shaking – Sondre Lerche
  12. Powerful – Skye
  13. Never Dreamed You’d Leave In Summer – Stevie Wonder
  14. Rock With You – Michael Jackson
  15. Sex Room – Ludacris, Trey Songz
  16. A Long Walk – Jill Scott
  17. Brighter Than Sunshine – Aqualung
  18. Beautiful And Strange – Mudvayne
  19. You Don’t Know Me – Michael Buble
  20. She Said (Remix) (Feat. The Pharcyde) – Jay Dee aka J-Dilla

So, why did I think this was blog worthy?  Because I sat and thought about it, and listened to the songs, and it reminded me perfectly of the deep sentimentality that I possess, and that I often try to hide or deny…but that becomes easier to show with each passing day.  That is how I know that I’m at a perfect place for something new, interesting, long term…something real.

While I could only wish and dream that my path crossed again with this particular young lady, her memory and her friendship, reminds me that I’m pretty close to the goal to which her companionship set me upon; to be the guy who is ready when I meet that perfect woman…and yeah, I’m pretty damn awesome!

Also…I know how to have a really good time:

Also, while authoring this post, I came across the following book:


Click on the picture to see a brief synopsis of the book.  It’s on my to-read list!  Nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks mixtapes are significant.



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