2 dates…2 outcomes

Hey everyone!

Seems like it’s been so long since I’ve blogged here.  I swear I’m not a total slacker…I’ve just been keeping on the move.  I suppose I’m prepping for the summer.  I tend to always be on the run in the summer.  I’m definitely one of those people who needs a vacation from their vacation.  I’m trying to learn to slow down a bit.  It’s a process.

So, last week, I had 2 dates.

The first one was with a beautiful woman who we will call J.  J was tall, and beautiful.  Much like me she worked in education, which was excellent. I think someone who works in education as well can understand what I go through from day to day at work, and can also offer a healthy perspective to keep me from getting too stressed out about things.

So we were supposed to meet and go to one of my favorite cafes.  However, I ended up training before we were to meet.  I was super hungry and remembered seeing in her profile that she loved Mexican food…so I suggested we get dinner at a Mexican restaurant that I love.

Dinner was great.  Conversation was easy, and we laughed lots.  In addition, I was very attracted to J.  Beautiful smile, extremely intelligent, a musician, she enjoys working out and we seemed to have similar views on a myriad of other topics.  I felt a really good vibe between us.  As we parted….

….ok, so I never know what to do about the end of the first date.  Do you go for the kiss?  How do you know if you should?  I’m horrible at reading the signs, or vibes. That is so not my thing, so I went in for a hug.  The hug lingered longer than a hug normally does.

It was nice…warm…I love hugging.  As we stood there, I squeezed a bit, and felt her body press into mine.  It’d been a while, and I so enjoy that feeling.  We pulled away, and both smiled, I told her I had a wonderful time, and she would hear from me again soon.

It was only 2 days later that I received the following message:

I also had a nice time the other night. I have to tell you I’m having a weird situation where you remind me so much of an ex that, while I know you’re your own person & it’s unfair to put that on you, it’s really about what it’s making me feel & what it’s bringing up in my mind & heart.

I hope you understand that I think you’re funny & sweet but I think the connection is not set up for success or a fair shake. Does that make sense? Some real life crap getting in the way of fun…
Please do take care,
J

Now normally, rejection doesn’t bother me at all.  I’m a firm believer that I may be simply too cool for many women to handle (see what I did there?)..such is life.  However, I was bummed out when I read that message.  I was really looking forward to seeing her again, and getting to know her better.

And so, a few days later, another date was arranged.  This one was with Jules.   We’d exchanged a few emails, and after she had initially cancelled our first meeting, we planned to get together for coffee. Starbucks.  Simple.

And so we met.  Upon initial impression, she was pretty.  Looked a bit different from her picture on OKcupid, but not in a bad way.  In conversation, she later commented that it was a slightly older pic and that she should update it.  So, we walked and chatted.

Now, this date was different from the one with J.  Jules seems much more reserved…quiet perhaps.  She definitely had a much more “suburban” sensibility about her.  Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a bit loud at times, and very animated, and I laugh..lots.  Jules doesn’t seem to have that kind of personality, which worried me as the conversation proceeded.  I know that my personality can be a bit “much” if you’re not prepared for it.

I am the king of TMI!

there were also moments where there was silence.  Usually on a first date, this is considered a bad thing.  I found myself making very general comments to move the conversation along.  I had the feeling I weirded her out with my outgoing personality.  However, as we talked, I found that we had a lot in common. She also had a very cute sense of humor.

She totally made me laugh my face off when she said, “So, is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu like that martial art where they fight with the sticks?”   I’ve heard people ask if it’s like karate, or tae kwon do, or wrestling, but stick fighting?  That was a new one, and she took the mild ribbing I offered her in good spirit, and it turned out she was referring to Capoeira, which at high levels will use sticks.  While I feared that we might be incompatible due to our differences in “energy” if you will…I did think she was very nice company, and she actually did lift my spirits, which were a little low during the day.

I had planned to attend training that evening, so she actually walked me over to the academy.  When we got there, I was pretty sure I’d give her a hug, thank her for the company, and emailing her the next day with no hopes of there being a date #2…and then she said

“So, I’d really like to see you again.”

I actually responded with “Yeah?”

to which she smiled, giggled, and said “Yeah!”

I told her that I would like that, and I gave her a hug, and we parted ways.

I look forward to a second date.  Perhaps someone not like me is what I need.  Perhaps not.  It’ll be nice to explore with someone who is different from me, but not so different that they think I’m a freak…or vice versa.

Well time will tell.  However, it was a nice change of pace, and I suppose we shall see where the future leads.

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