Just In Case

Keep me around, waiting behind glass
In case you need, I’ll be your piece of ass
Pretend to want me, string me along
Break glass if needed, you can make me crawl

’cause you make me feel like a dog
You can’t see my emotion
Is this for real?
I’m a man sinking deep

I was strung out for such a long, long time
Now I own myself, yes I am mine
No longer will I be your just in case
No longer your shit do I need to taste

’cause you make me feel like a dog
You can’t see my emotion
Is this for real?
I’m a man sinking deep in the ocean

I don’t wanna be your just in case boy
I don’t wanna be your just in case
Oh no ~ as performed by Static-X

In a life once lived, that was my M.O.  The “Just in Case” is very similar to “being on the hook”, which I talked about who knows how long ago.  However, I recently heard the above quoted song by Static-X, and it really got me thinking.  Well, aside from hearing the song, I had an experience.  People whom I confide in, particularly about dating and such, will often comment that “You’re too nice.”

I always try to be a nice guy, and treat others as I would like to be treated, but I suppose that sometimes, in dating, you kind of need to cut the cord, and perhaps disappoint people from time to time.

Case in point: A few weeks back, a female friend asked me if I would accompany her to a wedding.  Now, this is a female friend that I attempted to date in the past, and would date in a hot second now.  Sure, I’ve been the shoulder to whine on, and the voice of reason for the debatable characters which are beneath her…and while I’m good enough for those things, and in the past may have been good enough for a sexual encounter, I’m not good enough for a relationship.

…and as we talked about the wedding, it hit me:

“I’m her just in case”

He’ll be around, just in case the guy I really want to go with isn’t available, just in case my ex won’t play nice with me, just in case I need someone to lament to.

With experience comes altered perspective, and I can freely admit to the shitty person that I once was.  And while I can’t change the past, I can try hard not to repeat the failures of my past in the future…and part of those failures is being someone’s “just in case”…just like being on someone’s hook.

I successfully pulled myself off the hook I was on, and I’ve been very adamant about not being anyone’s sexual just in case.  If I engage in sexual activity with someone, it’s on my terms, or at least mutually agreed upon terms…not lies, or misgivings. So now, I have to be sure not to be someone’s emotional “just in case.”

Ain’t nobody got time for that.


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