Under Pressure

:: cue copy written baseline ::

Throughout my life, I’ve usually been able to rise to the challenge set out in front of me. That often meant taking the rougher of multiple roads, but I’ve never been much on living just to live. I want to rise up to a higher plateau.

Now, not to offer the perception that I’ve had an extremely trying or storied life, but when I needed to, I put in the time, work, elbow grease, desire, perseverance, or plains old cajones…whatever was needed to get where I wanted to go.
When I joined the Cavaliers Drum & Bugle Corps, I was the worst player in the ensemble. But I told them I would work the hardest, and I did. 2 years later we were world champions.

When I joined the Army, my ass was made of cookie dough. I rose to the challenge and did 9 years…well.

When I deployed to Afghanistan, I didn’t let the place get the best of me. I smiled every day, and I did my job well, and I made it home.

Today, is the first time I can recall that I feel like I can’t rise to the challenge ahead of me. Work is wearing me down. I feel like it’s an uphill battle that I ‘m losing a day at a time.

I love teaching. I really do. My first 3 years were fine. Far from perfect, but I enjoyed them. I can’t recall the last day of enjoyment I had in my classroom this year.

One of my bosses told me recently that I was an extremely engaging teacher, etc etc. I don’t feel it though.

I shouldn’t dread going to work.

Today I looked into rejoining the military. I’m gonna talk to the recruiter in a week or two. I’m trying to look at all my options and keep an open mind. Perhaps I need a change in scenery.

I’m starting to fear that CPS is a slowly capsizing ship.

:: sigh ::

Hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.


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