My mind has been in a spin the past few days. Let me start by saying thank you to everyone who is reading this. You all rock. Those of you who chat with me through Facebook, or twitter, you all really kick a**. Many of you have been asking me how the date went. It genuinely feels nice that people care. I’m so neurotic about dating… it’s nice to have people to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of.
Dating is a strange phenomena. Also one that I am no good at.
It’s like a dance…one that I’m not really adept at. Much like any other dance , you gotta pick your spots.
Find the rhythm, spin here, step there…
NO!!!! DON’T STEP THERE!!!
Well fine then…I won’t!
But the intricacies of dating are the same that made me lukewarm, at best, at chess. The subtleties of it all just confound me a bit.
I mean, I’m always a gentleman, or at least I try to be.But beyond that, there’s so many rules. Say this, don’t say that, be honest, don’t be too honest, be forward, not too forward, hold back, but don’t be an absolute prude….
So, the date actually went pretty well. The young lady and I have always gotten along well.
I couldn’t tell with certainly exactly how I became acquainted with the young lady…let’s call her Kay. I’m pretty sure we met through Myspace. Anywho, we became friends, and eventually started hanging out. Usually it was me, her, her boyfriend and her adolescent son. Cute people.
It was always awkward, because I’ve always been attracted to and had a crush on Kay.
I’m always stymied by what makes one person attracted to another. What makes this person more special than that one. While that is a discussion I will get into later, Kay has always had a pleasant effect on me.
She’s very sweet. She just has a very positive, upbeat, enlightening nature about her. She’s chatty, and we’ve always been able to converse easily and freely. If you asked me what makes you special, this is what I’d describe, a very sweet, kind hearted person who has a charm that I’ve always found very disarming, and so pleasant to be around.
In addition, she is sooooo pretty. I mean, like really pretty. She just has these bright eyes, and a really pretty smile. I dig her laugh, and when we hang out, we generally laugh a lot. Also, anyone who knows what I’m attracted to knows that I have a thing for lips, and Kay has really sexy lips. I probably couldn’t count on my fingers how many times I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss her.
Now I’m a free spirit, and I find a lot of women attractive. I think everyone has their own thing that makes them attractive, and beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder. But of those women, a small percentage of them would I want to date, a small percentage for whom my feelings go beyond lust, or idle fancy if you will. I’ve wanted to date Kay for a long time now, and that’s why I was so excited at the prospect of exploring a romantic path if you will.
The only problem with the date from my perspective, is that it just felt like 2 friends hanging out. That’s not a bad thing by any means. However, it arose a question in my head.
Now, I’m not one of those people who believes that friends shouldn’t date. That to me sounds like idiocy of the highest order. However, it bears to question, when you do make an attempt to date a friend, how do you turn the corner from friendlyville to “hey, I really think you’re awesome and want to hold your hand-sville.” For example, I gave her a compliment on how she looked. She was wearing an uber-cute headband and her hair looked nice, and I mean, I always think she looks super pretty, but I’ve never expressed that because I was always very respectful of her relationship, and didn’t want her boyfriend to misconstrue my intentions. So now, offering a compliment like that just felt…umm….I don’t even know the word. It just felt manufactured. And it wasn’t. It was kind of like taking a mask off and finally letting what really was underneath see daylight.
We’ve texted a bit since the date, but that’s about it. Kay is a very busy person.
So, now, a few days later, I’m kind of in wait and see mode. I will formally ask her on a date #2 and see what happens from there.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I just being an idiot? Is there anyone out there?
And most importantly, what should I do with this torch?