As far back as I can remember, I’ve hated sleeping.
I can remember, back in the day when such a thing occurred, playing with my toys until the American flag popped up on the screen, accompanied by the national anthem. Following that, the screen would go snowy white, with the sound of static.
I spent lots of time playing in the light of a snowy white screen.
My father would often fall asleep in a chair near the television. He would settle me down next to him, sometimes on him, thinking I would drift off to sleep with him.
Sometimes I did, and often times I didn’t. But eventually, with no real stimulus, I would settle down to sleep. As a teenager, my disdain for sleep didn’t improve much. After my mother would make me go to bed, I would often lie in bed reading. I was a voracious reader as a teen, particularly partial to Stephen King books…with an especial affinity for his short stories.
Once my mother got hip to me reading in bed, I would go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet, reading page after page. Sometimes, I would literally fall asleep there on the toilet, in the bathroom, book in hand, only to jar myself awake, book on the floor, or even worse, to banging on the door, “What are you doing in there?”
Masturbating. The answer is always masturbating. 😉
I suppose over the years, I thought I would grow out of my “youthful exuberance,” and grow into a healthier relationship with sleep…
…but I haven’t.
I remember years ago, living with a woman I was dating. Now, she was a sleeper. A solid 8-hour sleeper. She liked it when I went to bed with her, which I would. And, as soon as she drifted off to sleep, I would slide out of bed and go watch a movie, or surf online, or read, or…
Then, I joined the military, and if you’ve ever needed a lover who would enable your worst habits and tendencies, the Army will oblige you. I cannot speak, with direct knowledge, of other branches of the military, but the Army definitely appreciates modern chemistry as a force enabler. You need caffeine? They got your caffeine. When I was in Afghanistan, you could literally walk out of the chow hall with cases of Rip It, and get it in. Coincidentally, while in Afghanistan, I had a caffeine overdose situation. But, it was so much easier to fuel up that way, rather than face the pillow.
Additionally, the less you sleep, the better of a soldier you are. The Army wants machines. I generally operated on 4 hours of sleep, a habit I maintained for years. I also learned the magic that is power naps.
I will say that in isolated situations, I like sleep. Many years ago, I dated a woman named Mirinda. Man, I was all about her. Now she was a sleeper. She was one of those people that had a huge glorious bed, with a countless number of pillows, made to drown in. She would talk about sleep the way a sommelier might describe a choice vintage, savoring the experience.
One thing we could agree on was taking midday naps, particularly in the summer. She was a huge air conditioning person, and would jack it up until her bedroom was like an ice box. With the summer sun dancing around us, we would climb into bed, and spoon, until we drifted off to sleep. Sometimes we would wake up, intertwined, commence to making the most pleasurable of love, and then go back in for another hour or two of nap time.
I enjoyed that. While I hate sleeping, I do enjoy closeness and intimacy. There is something about feeling someone else’s skin against yours, hearing their heart beat, listening to their breathing in a quiet room…occasionally, watching their serene face as they drift off, or as they dream. Those times, those experiences, make the otherwise waste of time worth it.
If I should ever find myself married, or at least long term intertwined with someone, I think they would have to be an incessant cuddler. That’s one of the few activities that I will willingly slow myself down for. It brings peace of mind…and heart…let’s not forget that cuddling is good for you.
So what about you all, what is your relationship with sleep? Do you sleep a lot? How many hours do you require to function? Would love to hear all of your thoughts.
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This post was created on my brand new HP Pavilion x360.
I’m coming up in the world.