You Can’t Win!

Without fail, every year the Millennium Park Summer Film Series is one of my favorite summer activities, and in 2019 it simply has not failed to deliver.

I mean, how could you go wrong? Huge movie screen you can see from like 200 yards away, a $2.5M sound system that makes seating choice fairly irrelevant, and the picturesque view of the Chicago skyline on all sides. It’s a no-brainer.

Yesterday was the presentation of The Wiz, the 1978 film of the musical based upon L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Did You know the Wizard of Oz was written in Chicago?).” If you haven’t seen The Wiz, it’s an urban retelling if you will, much more soulful, with an all-black cast, featuring some of the biggest stars of the day, including Diana Ross, Nipsey Russell, and Michael Jackson.

Just to make it clear, the musical “The Wiz” was written by William F. Brown, who is white, and he hated the film adaptation.

I’m pretty certain that this was my first time seeing the Wiz as an adult (I’m assuming I last saw it when I was a teenager), and one of the moments of the film that absolutely captivated me was the musical number “You Can’t Win.”

Sung by Michael Jackson, whom received a boisterous ovation from the crowd when he appeared on screen, was originally written for the Broadway show, but was cut prior to opening night.

To quote Jackson himself,

“The song was about humiliation and helplessness – something that so many people have felt at one time or another – and the feeling that there are people out there who don’t actively hold you back as much as they work quietly on your insecurities so that you hold yourself back.”

I didn’t remember this particular scene at all, but you have to picture a woeful scarecrow, hanging on a pole in the middle of an empty lot, being teased by a pack of crows.

He begs to be let down, just for a little bit, to which they respond by telling him that his station in life is to be on that pole, and even if they let him down, he wouldn’t be able to walk anyway.

At that point, the crows insist that the scarecrow has forgotten the Crow Commandments, and demand he recite them.

  1. Thou shall honor all crows
  2. Thou shall stop reading all bits of paper and literature
  3. Thou shall never, never get down off of this here pole

Wait a minute!!! See, now this is where my adult brain kicked in.  “How sad is this???  My man has been bamboozled!”

Then the crows demand the he sing the crow anthem.

Now, as a fairly educated adult, I can see there’s a lot of subtext going on here.

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to research films, songs, whatever art.  I’m always interested in the back story of how a great piece of art came to be.

In the book Pimps, Wimps, Studs, Thugs and Gentlemen: Essays on Media Images of Masculinity, author and professor Dr. Elwood Watson spoke about this song at length,

“Daily, Scarecrow begs The Crows to liberate him so that he can pursue his quest for a brain, intellect development… The scene invokes African American experiences in the south and the ritual lynching of African American men. The Crows, however, have no intention of doing bodily harm to the Scarecrow – theirs is a more insidious violence… The Crow Commandments invokes the laws that forbid educating slaves… The Crows reinforce Scarecrow’s subjection at their hands through a song… that aims to disabuse Scarecrow of any aspirations toward freedom.

“The Crows are even more disadvantaged than Scarecrow because, unlike him, they are hopeless. The Crow’s chorus… reflects their disillusionment with their inability to realize the promise of upward mobility. The Crows are suspicious, and perhaps justifiably so, of optimistic political discourse that promise substantive change… The Crows, then, become symbolic of a potentially negative family dynamic, one that subjugates its members and does not encourage an exploration of alternative constructions of the self.”

Now it was funny that I heard this song yesterday, because just a few days before I read a quote that’s been in my craw ever since.

It was on the Instagram of Lilliluxe, a digital creator, that I follow on there.  Really pretty, and yes, that’s pretty much what 90% of my Instagram is, really pretty women.  The other 5% are friends.  Anyway, she said the other day,

“Personal story time… 🚨🚗 If you think there’s a better life out there for you… you’re right.
3 years ago I was at an all time low with depression living in Ohio and working in a corporate cubicle. I was earning money but the cost to my mental health was crippling. I was a sad panda that HAD to get OUT. My boss mercifully let me go and told me my contract would not be renewed. I started a Digital Nomad club in my city and started researching ways to make money online. I didn’t know how I would earn a living, but I knew that I wanted to be self employed and able to travel ✈️. I worked a few more corporate jobs, while continuing to model on the side. Little did I know, my modeling hobby that allowed me to express myself creatively and sensually, would eventually become my livelihood! 🇪🇸 Now, I am living in Spain, self employed, and haven’t stepped foot in an office in 2 years! I am grateful everyday for my life and for trusting that voice inside that said “There is something better for you” ❤️ Never ignore that voice!!”

After reading that, I immediately thanked Lilli.  I’ve been feeling in a rut as of late, and it was yet another kick in the pants I needed, and got me thinking.

How much negative talk do we succumb to?  How much negative talk do we impose on ourselves.  As Les Brown would say,

Yes Me!!!  Why not me?!?!?!

As I look back, I’ve lived out so many other peoples conclusions of who I am and what I should be doing.  That makes me sad as fuck.

But, today is another opportunity.  And I’m taking all the opportunities, creating doors, and making moves.

So step one is my podcast, which I’ve wanted to do forever.  Even if I get one listener, that’s more than I have today.

As an end note on The Wiz, To quote on an article on “The Wiz: Live”,

“In a New York Times articleThe Wiz playwright William F. Brown – who called the film version starring Diana Ross awful – discussed the song as being a “Black message song.” Brown, who is White, said: “But it’s all changed. Black people can win. And this is not a Black message show. It’s everybody’s show.” I think it’s pretty safe to say, that some Black people weren’t winning in the 70s. Should the thought be that Black people are winning in 2015, it might be necessary for some re-thinking. In light of the disturbing climate of race relations today, the song can take on a greater meaning when it is broadcast to millions of viewers.”

Brown no longer includes “You Can’t Win” in current incarnations of the musical The Wiz.  Which I vehemently disagree with, but to each their own.

See…all that thought from a night under the beautiful night sky at Millennium Park.  Oh yeah…it also rained most of the movie, and going into the last 1/3 of the movie, it started lightning and the movie was stopped.  However, up until that point, people were dancing and singing in the rain.  Now that’s the Chicago that I love.  A little rain don’t stop no party.

Are you a fan of the Wiz?   Have you actually seen the musical live?  Have you been to any of the films at Millennium Park this year? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below.  . 

Step 2, if you liked what you read here, SHARE IT WITH OTHERS!!!! 

Also, be sure to know every time I post a new entry by subscribing! Also, you can check out Reflections of a Chicago Life on Facebook.  I post a lot of articles and we can have some wicked discussions on there. Be sure to click “Like”. You can also check me out on Twitter, and see all the things I see around the city on Instagram, and it still bears repeating…it’s important to have STANDARDS!!

This post was created on an iPhone XR. 


This Might Be Controversial…

So, something I don’t have issue with….is being controversial.

While I always try to be a pleasant, and kind person…I have no issue offering my opinion.

Now, the problem with that is that my opinion often seems to be out of the scope of the norm.  I’m not exactly sure why that is…but I just often feel like it only takes a few minutes before someone is in some variation…offended.   Continue reading

Stuff That Kicks…

In many ways, I am the quintessential teacher. I love sharing information!!! I love opening the minds of others to new and interesting things. Any teacher will tell you how awesome it is when you see that light bulb go on in a students head, that “oh wow” moment. There is nothing like it.

In the same vein, I enjoy sharing things I enjoy with the world. Particularly, for my intent and purposes here, what comes to mind most is art and culture. Music, movies, books…there is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t share a song, or video, or comment about a book on my personal Facebook.

Well, I’m gonna start sharing those things here on my blog. I’m calling it the “Things That Kick” series…that means it kicks ass. So, in the future, I’ll be sharing art of various mediums with you all. I hope that over time, you’ll at least see one or two things that you’ll enjoy, or will be new to you, or will possibly broaden your horizons, or challenge your notions in one way or another.

Also, I’m in the process of creating some new pages, so I’ll be posting something when those are up.

I hope you all are doing well. Things in my life are moving at a crazy pace…I’ll let you know how things look in the dust settles.




“You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah. Like, be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien lifeform… and fuck it. And people’d be like, “There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once.”
~ Jay

Lust and Resentment

I love those moments when someone says the things you are thinking I your head perfectly… or provides you with a perspective that truly clarifies an outlook for you.

dansavage_121212Dan Savage often does that for me.

Let me start by saying that if you don’t listen to The Savage Lovecast, you should. It’s a  podcast version of Dan’s advice column, Savage Love.  There are 2 versions of it, the micro (free, 49 minutes with ads) and the magnum (paid, 82 minutes without ads). I will one Da subscribe, but for now I’m stuck with the micro version.  However, it’s a great, insightful show.

Anyway, recently Dan commented on the whole nude photo scandal including Jennifer Lawrence and a slew of other celebrities. I wholeheartedly agree with his opinion, and think he made some fabulous points.

  1. It’s horrible that they’re privacy was invaded.
  2. Fuck those people who say you shouldn’t take naked pictures of yourself if you don’t want them spread around. It’s not like they were sharing them, their phones and such were hacked and their privacy invaded.
  3. We have a  sick relationship with celebrities, it’s a combo platter of lust and resentment, which is one of the reasons we punish pornstars (while the porn industry is one of the single biggest money-making industries in the United States might I remind you) and we sometimes delight in seeing celebrities fall and fail.Dan explores this point further and I advise you check it out.
  4. Furthermore, it will be a great day when we all have “dirty” pictures online. The human body is beautiful; the naked form is beautiful and should be celebrated. It’s not something that should be hidden, and shamed. It will be a great time when someone can play “gotcha” with this kind of shit.

Oh, I have a dick? And you saw it?

I sext, and you found out?

Why yes, I have recorded sexual encounters, and no it’s not a big deal.

It’s a pretty ridiculous, and a huge fuck you to those who shamed the victims of this incident rather than the hackers. I’m also sharing a video that a friend sent me. I thin it relates well to this topic of unhealthy sexual outlook that we harbor in our society.

Grow the fuck up…

…and puritans eat my snatch.

The Perfect Words at The Perfect Time

Below is a transcription of a podcast I listened to recently.  Let me start by highly recommending listening to the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. Such riveting conversation on there.  The Transcription below is JRE #134 featuring Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith is a director/actor famous for such films as Clerks, Mallrats, and Dogma. 

So below is a small portion from the episode. The transcription below is not mine, and is not perfect, but you get the gist of the message.

These words hit me at the perfect time, and led me to making a very important decision, to take a job in Dubai or not. I definitely think these are words to live by, so wanted to share them with others. Enjoy!

You can listen to the podcast from the website, on ITunes, or watch it on Youtube as a webcast.

Kevin Smith:  Play it with passion. Do it. Here’s my philosophy.  It’s everybody’s philosophy. It’s not even an original one.  One life you fucking die.

Kevin Smith:  That’s it. You don’t know what’s on the other side.  We hope for this and that. We hope for candy land.

Kevin Smith:  But we don’t know.  It could be as simple as getting in a box.  Stay there for fucking eternity.  You had your shot.  You’re a computer, we shut you down and you’re finished.  So if that’s the case, it…it…behooves you to shoot for your dreams every time.  I know it sounds so dopy and Tony Robbins-ish

Joe Rogan: But it’s real

Kevin Smith:  It’s real.  In a world where you’re gonna fuckin die. Like this is what I think about it.  An example that’s real close to home. My old man was a good dude.  My father, good guy.  Not many good men in the world.  This was a good fucking guy.  Did work at a post office.  Ah cancelling your fuckin stamp.  What a soul killing horrible job that is.  For years just to pay for a fucking family.  Who knew if he had dreams?  Maybe his only dream was to like.  Oh get married and have kids. Work wasn’t maybe a big deal to him.  He did what he had to put food on the table.  And stuff like that.  Good dude, took me to the matinees.  Every Wednesday go see a movie.  Take us out of school a half day.  Go see flicks and what not.  Not a Parent who fucks around with a kid or anything like that, or Oh he’s all good except there is that. Good straight arrow fucking dude. Went to church cause his wife made him.  But wasn’t big into the church.  Fucking mowed his mother-in-law’s lawn all the time.  Good guy.  Raised pretty good kids.  Or at least 2 good kids and me.  And so, my father would go out to eat one night.  He’s about 68 years old.  We go out to eat at Morton’s in Philadelphia.  Ah.. and its one of those special nights where whole family winds up in the same place.  Hadn’t been that way in years.  My mom, my dad, me and my wife’s with me.  My sister and her husband.  And she lives out. At this point I think she was living In Kobe, Japan or something like that.  So she rarely back in the states.  And my brother, he’s married to a dude.  But his husband wasn’t with us.  He didn’t make the trip that time unfortunately.  Here we are at the back room at Morton’s.  You know, eating having a great time.  Chit-chatting. (coughs)  And the old man is putting away a steak.  Cheesecake.  A couple of manhattans.  That was his fucking poison.  And you could tell. And I don’t even like paint this in retrospect.  But it was clear on the night.  Parents love seeing their kids all in one place.  Happy, healthy, not fucked up in the heads or something like that.  And you can tell he’s enjoying it.  Their worst kids shooting the shit.  Everyone is making each other laugh and shit.  Trying to make him laugh.  He.. everyone sits.  Everyone’s paying attention to everyone else.  Maybe no one is paying attention to him.  Maybe too much cheesecake that night.  Fuck it we’re all having a good time.  Put him on a cab that night.  Hey now see you all in the morning.  He’d come out to Philadelphia to see me do a Q&A at the ah.. Wizard Comic-Con.  Off he goes in a cab.  Go home.. ah.. go to a hotel. Go to sleep.  Got a phone call 6 in the morning from my brother.  And my brother was like uhm..  You gotta get down to the hospital on Walnut.  And I say why?  Cause Dad..  And uhm my father was in and out of poor health.  He was diabetic and what not.  He had like ah.. strokes, heart attack and what not..

Yeah.. he was.. bad health dude.  But I’m.. but.. so when my brother is like..  Dad is in the hospital.. Okay like,  What now?  Fuckin throw a rock and dad’s got it.  My brother you could hear in his voice.. and he was just like.. you gotta get down here now.  And I was.. oh shit!  So I was like.. hang up, got dressed, went down.  I get to the emergency room.  Open the door first thing I see is.  My mother who looks more scared, than I have ever seen in a human being in my life. Fucking terror on her face.  Not.. I’ve seen my mother cry in my lifetime, you know.  I’ve made my mother cry in my lifetime.  I’ve watched her cry.  I watched her cry to fucking falcon crest when I was a kid.  This was different.  This was like terror.  Fear.  You know, almost like there was a fucking gun to her head.  And off of her face, I looked to my brother, and my brother just says this expression where it just kinda gives me a slow nod.  Which is he’s gone.  You know my father is dead. And I went and I saw him on a gurney and shit. And it was so strange.  I go outside.  I was a smoker like cigarette smoker in those days.  I was gonna have a cigarette.  And uh.. Donald comes out.  And I was like ah.. Oh this is a shock.  Oh whatever, you know.  Your upset and stuff.  And ah.. how was it?  Cause he was there.  So what happened?  Donald felt, his story was like.. Dad woke up and had this like big reaction. Where you just like.. I’m hot, I’m hot.. then thrown his sheets off.  And mom freaked out..  what’s the matter?  what’s the matter?  She told Bob call an ambulance, call the hospital.  And he was gone within seconds.  So.. that’s.. you know.. bad enough.  You know, he was hot and uncomfortable.  You don’t want to hear it like.. Oh he died in his sleep.  And we woke up and he just didn’t.  But then my brother says this thing,  probably defined my life.  My brother goes.. ah.. he died screaming.  And I go.. what?  And he goes.. he died screaming.  And I was like.. I mean is that a figure of speech?  He goes.. No he literally died screaming.  And you could see my brother was haunted by it.  And my father wasn’t like ah.  I wouldn’t say he was a butch man or strong man.  But he wasn’t a soft man by any stretch of the imagination.  And I never heard him get real loud or anything like that. Then the notion of my father dying screaming.  Changed my life, cause I was like.  Even a good man in this world.  He played the game.  He played it straight.  He played it by the rules.  You do everything you’re supposed to.  You’re gonna die screaming. 

At that point, there’s no point in not trying to accomplish every stupid fucking dream I got.  Even this dumb shit.  Like fuckin.. you know.  Oh my god, I always want to collect this many fucking Wayne Gretsky cards in one binder.  Or if its like, I wanna make a movie.  Or if its like, I wanna put on podcast.  I wanna do a TV show now.  I wanna write a book.  Chase it all down.  Chase some whimsies for what I have been doing for the last few years.  Smoking weed and chasing and went whimsies.  Anytime I’m like.  Back in the day, I had a good idea.  Something I really want to follow through on.  You know, suddenly you get scared.  You start thinking, what some motherfucker is gonna say.  It will be like, oh that’s stupid why would you fuckin do that.. fuckin why? why? why? 

A lot of why people in this world. I try to surround myself with the why not motherfuckers.  It would be like, I wanna try this.  Like.. why not?  Lets go, lets give it a shot.  You gotta be game, Man.  People help you achieve your dreams and shit.  So for me ah.. the last few years.  I’ve just been trying to accomplish every dopy dream.  Big shit, the little shit.  You gotta do them all.  You cant just do the.. climb every mountain shit.  You know, sometimes lay the bar down, step over it and be like Tadah!  So you feel accomplished.  But chase it all.  Do it all.  Cause we all gonna die screaming.  And you might as well enjoy it here.  And when I say chase it all.  Don’t fuckin do it at the expense of someone else obviously.  Don’t hurt somebody else.  But go after your dreams, man.  If you dream is like.. I wanna kill 12 children.  That’s.. I’m not saying.. I’m not talking to you.  But go after your dreams if that’s not gonna hurt anybody

The Internet is for Porn???

Well, the great debate has been settled.  New porn site Paint Bottle (No, I am not including a link…google it perv!) recently released a survey that undoubtedly ends the debate with a resounding

Yes, the Internet is for Porn!  

Number of visitors on the porn web site is greater than the combined visitor at Netflix, Inc. (NASDAQ:NFLX),, Inc. (NASDAQ:AMZN)  and Twitter, the data revealed. As per the data, Netflix, Inc. (NASDAQ:NFLX) gets 46 million unique monthly visitors while, Inc. (NASDAQ:AMZN) and Twitter get 110 million and 160 million respectively. Porn sites get about 450 million unique monthly visitors.

Of the visitors on the porn sites, 70 percent are men while only 30 percent are women visitors, reveals the data. The survey further tells that on an average a visitor spends 12 minutes on a porn site and an average viewer visits 7.5 times per month.

In addition:



I don’t know if everyone I know watches porn, but I do know that the ones that don’t are the odd men out. 😉


So, the idea for this blog came to me after a friend shared a video with me last night.  She said her sister had shown it to her, and she thought it was hilarious, so she passed it on.

Now, I’m familiar with the song “Sail” by Awolnation, but I’d never seen a video for it.  So, when the video started, I thought that maybe this was simply the regular video for it.  A sexy young lady, dancing in the rain, singing the lyrics.  Standard enough.

Then at 1:30 in, I officially said “WTF???”

Then at 2:30, as you see, all hell breaks loose.  This video is oddly riveting.  Hilarious in a very non-conventional way.  And when it’s all done…I suppose, a very natural question is  “Why?”

Why make that?  Why spend the time?  What is the point?  We as a very time and efficiency driven society always have to know the point.

So how does that relate to me?  Well, over the past few days, since this new blog of mine has garnered a bit of attention, from friends and strangers alike, and sparked some very interesting conversation, it isn’t before long that someone asks,

Why do you do it?  What’s the point of blogging?

It’s a fair question.  Honest enough.  So why put your thoughts, feelings, and expressions out there for the world to see?  Most people can easily understand and grasp the concept of a diary…but that’s private.  Why make it public?  What makes you think that anyone will care?  Are you some kind of egomaniac?

Well, I have always been the kind of person to have a vice.  As a juvenile, video games were my vice.  If I wasn’t in school, I could be found in front of a video game.  While I truly enjoyed books, video games were a distinct joy.

And then I discovered music.  Music encapsulated and fulfilled my world.  I was decent at it, and it brought me hours and hours of joy.

As I became more skilled and advanced in music, the joy of learning transformed into a desire to create.  Creating something new, as a musician, is one of the most riveting experiences that I suppose one could have.  And to have someone, enjoy that creation….I can’t even think of a way to put that into words at this moment.

And then life marched on, and things changed.  I was doing bands, rock music, and creating…lyrics and singing…it was all good.

And then I got my throat crushed in a training accident.  I remember going 4 or 5 days without being able to talk, let alone sing.  And things have never been the same since.  There’s not a day that goes by in which I wish I could still sing, at least as well as I could, and continue to create.  But it’s so frustrating, and before I know it, I’ve just given up for the day…and the week….and months have flown by before you’ve touched a guitar, or a horn, or opened up Fruity Loops, or Acid Pro, etc, etc, etc….

At first I was in denial.  I’m now ok with the fact that my voice is different, and it’s now a different instrument.  In my brain, I think of it as my voice used to have valves, and now it has a slide on it.  I simply have to learn to manipulate it in a different way, to produce sound in a different way…but it is hella frustrating, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same vocalist I was.

While most people would now think of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as my vice, which it very much is in many ways…it’s not really an art of creation.  Not yet…not for me.  It’s more of manipulation, of borrowing and modifying someone else’s creation.  Kind of like jazz.  I’m borrowing licks from everyone and everywhere, but I’m years away from being able to have a deep enough understanding to construct my own.

…but that burning desire to create doesn’t ever really subside.  You simply find other ways to nourish it.  Blogging, oddly enough, has lended itself to be a perfect outlet.

I’ve been told that I have a way with words.  I often refer to myself as a Chatty Cathy (I suppose that should be a Charlie, but it’s all good).  I use words a lot.  LOL.  I also like to think that due to my rather varied life experiences, I have a fairly interesting if not unique outlook on life.  Few people can say they protested the wars in the Middle East, shortly before meeting Colin Powell, shortly before deploying to Afghanistan.  I once dated a woman who called me  a “dichotomy of contradictions.”  She was probably right.  I probably still am.  I spent a year in a war zone, but I hate violence…yet I love Mixed Martial Arts. Hmm…

But as I watch this video, I get it.  I understand the why.  A better question is

Why not???

What else have we to do?  Cure cancer?  Pray for world peace?  Why not create something that will endure, and resonate with people?  It’ll either bring a smile to their face…perhaps even a frown, but you’ll have affected them with your words, thoughts, or actions…and isn’t that something unique and dynamic?

I do find joy in the fact that my words, this blog, affects, and will affect, people in a way that nothing else quite will.  It may not affect them as deeply as other things, it may not be extremely profound, but the ideas that swirl in your head at this moment, and after….nothing else will cause that to be true.  So, in a way, my creation is utterly unique….and that is something special.  Not to mention if even 1 person reads my blog, I feel like John Grisham.  🙂

I’ve watched that above video 5 times.  It definitely resonates with me.  Partly because I have a total fetish for lips.  Perhaps because I have a total fetish for redheads.  Perhaps because I love seeing a good cat fight.  Perhaps because a woman dancing in the rain is super sexy to me.

Whatever the reason…it’s definitely unique…



…and over 33 million other people in this world agree.

Opening Up

I just finished watching the film, “P.S. I Love you”.  If you’re never seen it, I definitely recommend it.



While I loved the film, I actually rather hate watching movies like this.  The movie was funny, touching, endearing, and rather sad.

With my resume of activities that should easily put me in the “tough guy” column, it’s pretty hard to think of yourself as a tough guy after crying over a movie like a 3-year-old with a skinned knee.  Now, I’m not one of those “men don’t cry” idealists, but yeah, it definitely makes you feel all mushy, ya know?

And…movies like this get you thinking.  Thinking about the subject matter, which centrally is love, and relationships, and ultimately, what happens when you lose that.  What happens when the person you love the most in the world leaves you?  Or dies?  I think it’s safe to say that many of us don’t like thinking about those things.  Loss….death…it’s all ugly, uncomfortable, and if we deny, simply deny strongly enough, surely I won’t have to ever think about it.

Sometimes I think that just as uncomfortably, is, as the movie puts it, what happens when you meet that person that changes life as you know it?  I would venture to say that that thought in some ways is just as scary.  Well fine then, play it like you don’t know what I’m  talking about.  It’s scary to me!  

While being in a relationship is where I feel my thoughts, emotions and life are heading…there’s always those “dumb-guy” fears that creep into my head.  Thoughts like….

Do you really want to wake up to her every day for the next 40 years?”

Silly?  Juvenile?  Yes.  Reality?  Yes.

Or, as a good friend of mine once put it…

Take a good look at her.  That is the only woman you will ever sleep with for the rest of your life!

Now needless to say, that prediction didn’t come to pass, but I remember thinking to myself…

Holy Crap!

Now yes, we men have surely progressed in our ways, thoughts and actions.  No longer are we squatting in freshly dug catholes in the burning Serengeti sun…but many of us still have some deep seated issues I feel when it comes to commitment

I like to think with every passing day, I grow much more comfortable with the idea of being that “old married guy” that me and my friends once made fun of…but it’s a process.  I’m not afraid to admit that.  For any problem, admitting there is one is the first step to fixing it right?

I also keep in mind, as I told the young men in my class today,

Fellas, just wait until the day when you meet that one woman that you want to do crazy things for.  That you’re willing to be lame for.  The one for whom you’ll happily erase all those other girls’ numbers from your phone.

That has happened to me.  I know that ultimately, that’s what love feels like.  When the worries melt away, and you’re totally ok being “that guy.”  As much as I occasionally harass my married friends, secretly, I admire what they have.  I hope I’ll have it one day too.

It’s odd how a work of fiction can get us to think about so many things.  In all honesty, my mind is in a whirl right now.  But, art is often one person’s way of rationalizing or coping with the world around them, so I know that I surely can’t be the only one.

So yeah, I recommend that if you haven’t, you check out this movie.